Davvy ‘The d-bomb’ K and H.A.L ’2001 space odyssey’ liday. Go to ALDI

On a fine summers afternoon there are many things to do. Or are there? For as any resident of Durham knows, what the city has in historic charm is ruled by the sun, i.e. if it’s down, there is stuff going on, if it’s up, you’ve got church to go to.

So it was that with the sun being up, we decided to visit our church : the church of retail. This would normally involve going to the retail worlds Notre-Dame, Tesco. However due to reasons that will remain undisclosed, this haven off capitalism was off limits. This led to a somewhat unpredictable visit to the urban chapel that is ALDI.

Now, there would usually be no reason to visit said hell hole, but as with many human adventures, we were driven by one thing: curiosity. In this case, as you shall see, curiosity didn’t kill the cat, it fucking maimed it.

Click more to read on …

Vote Blue, get Green (words)

George Osbourne, the Shadow Chancellor (the man accused by Dennis Skinner in the House of taking cocaine), has been making a policy announcement today. That’s good, as so far the Tories only have policies on sexy children’s clothing (against) and turning left at red traffic lights (for).

Today’s announcement was on the environment and boiled down to encouraging people to take greater personal responsibility, including simple things like flying less. Seems to make sense, except when you look at where this policy announcement was made… Japan. Now just how did Georgie boy get there? Maybe he used slimy Dave Cameron’s bike, or maybe just maybe he used the hot air that he and his colleague spew out at every opportunity to power an aircraft? Most likely I think he flew and in doing so will have produced about enough carbon to heat 5 average British homes for 1 year. Tosser

What Ethnicity Is This Man?

Simple question. Hard answer. comment. Hint he is not sajid mahmood

Broadband Speed Testing.

using the website www.speedtest.net its possible to do a test on your broadband connection and see if your actually getting the speeds you should be from your isp. say if your on tesco internet your likely to get about 1% of what you should. i however got.

that my friends is 92% full speed or in lehmans terms…warp 5 (in old star trek obviously as warp 5 in the newer series is obviously not THAT fast)

In all honesty the only reason i posted it is because it looks like what i imagine George bush’s desktop computer looks like i.e lots of foreign locations highlighted with missile like arcs leading to and from them replete with numbers and dials that he cant understand, but hell it looks pretty so it must be doing something good!

Update: oh and i also just noticed all foreign locations are highlighted by pyramids. with that kind of accuracy on foreign landmarks, its george W’s for sure

Texas Hold’em – fad or fantastic

A craze is sweeping the county. People are talking about it on every corner. The poker variant Texas Hold’em is being played all across the Durham area, with groups of young and old meeting up for beers and gambling fun. The super market chain Tescos have recently brought down prices on several poker kits, some say this is prompting the sharp rise in no limits gambling.

However the d-bomb can exclusively reveal that the marked rise in the clink of chips in the area is in fact the result of the appearance of Texas hold’em for Xbox Live Arcade. ‘I played it for 10 hours straight’ said one tall blond resident ‘I was down $30,000, but in one all in hand I won it all back and won the tournament’.

It seems the adrenaline highs people are getting from the real poker games just aren’t up to scratch with the virtual thrills up for grabs over the Internet. ‘I played two real Texans’ said our budding interviewee ‘You just can’t match the excitement of laying down a queen high straight and pulling in $103,000′.

How long will the craze last?
Are you a poker maniac?
Tell us about your best experiences and you could win a d-bomb t-shirt*

* not actual t-shirt